Putting 2020 behind us and moving forward into 2021 brings anticipation and question marks unlike any other New Year. SOS Tillamook, the prevention program of Tillamook Family Counseling, each year seeks inspiration from local students. This year’s calendar features helpful self-care and mindfulness suggestions that we’ve all needed in 2020. With so many challenging changes this year, middle school students (6th, 7th and 8th graders) provided lots of creative ideas for “When things change, I cope by …” And they didn’t disappoint – with incredible artwork and thoughtful ways that they are coping with distance learning and new ways of doing things.
The 2021 calendar has been sent out to mailboxes with the excellent advice in January for “Improvising” to “thinking happy thoughts” in February; then a detailed parrot drawing includes the caption … “Learning – I like how birds learn to fly and change into adults & change color, this brings me JOY.” April is graced with a self-portrait, singing to my cat; May’s watercolor depicts meditating by the beach! June is the perfect time to ride horses with friends, and July finds many of us working on our lawn mowers. August and September present popular themes – playing outside and going to the beach. Then in October and November we are listening to music and reading. Baking yummy treats was a perfect idea for December.
If you would like a copy of the SOS Tillamook 2021 calendar, please contact the Tillamook Family Counseling Center.
As we put this uniquely memorable year in the history book, our local students have provided helpful guidance on how to cope as we move forward. There are now vaccines for COVID-19, but masks, distancing and hand-washing will continue to be our routine for some time to come, but there are ways to cope, and there is help in our community if you need someone to talk to.
Here are more ideas for when things change, ways to cope:
Breathing deeply and visualizing a safe, calm place.
Drawing or painting
Listening to uplifting music
Going to the library
Holding an ice cube
Organizing space
Sitting in the sun and closing your eyes
Sucking on a peppermint
Sipping a cup of hot tea
Complimenting someone
Movement – Exercise
Reading
Write yourself a nice note and keeping it in your pocket
Dancing to music
Going for a brisk 10-minute walk
Going outside and listening to nature
Calling a friend
Write positive affirmations on cards and decorate them
Planting a flower in a pot
Knitting or sewing
Doing yoga
Watching a funny or inspirational movie
Making a collage of your favorite things
Journaling
Writing a poem
Swimming, running or biking
Making a gratitude list
Doing a good deed
Bake cookies to share with someone
MORE IDEAS ….
If you or someone you know is having a difficult time coping, please reach out – there is help and there is hope. SOS Tillamook – Prevention Program of Tillamook Family Counseling Center can be reached at 503-842-8201.
AUTHOR: Laura Swanson, Tillamook County Pioneer Editor
For more local health and wellness information, follow Tillamook County Wellness on Facebook, Instagram and Twitter.
Much love has been poured out in recent months; people supporting local businesses, delivering food boxes and reaching out to others. As we step into a new year, we are reminded that we need to show love to ourselves as well. One way we can do that is by taking steps to care for our own mind, body and spirit at the most fundamental levels.
A friend recently shared a story about her visit with someone who had been struggling mentally, emotionally and physically. When asked to explore what he was really missing and needed more than anything else to get better, it came down to three things: Restoration, Hope and Progress. What this man discovered is truly at the core of what each one of us needs to be well.
Restoration – Our bodies have a built-in mechanism for that. It’s called sleep. If you’ve ever been to Disneyland, it’s amazing to see how clean the park is. Despite thousands of people, including children with ice cream cones, overtaking the park each day, it looks immaculate. For that to happen, a whole crew works all night long to make it look perfect for each new day. Believe it or not, you have a whole Disneyland crew working in your body while you sleep, making necessary repairs, sprucing things up and even helping you retain what you learned during the previous day. We need to give that crew eight hours of quality time each night to get that job done. Setting a regular bedtime, and sticking closely to it on weekends, is important for restoration.
Hope – Remember the TV show, Cheers? Or how about Friends or The Big Bang Theory? What each of these has in common is a sense of belonging among the show’s characters. It sounds cliché but it really is true that sometimes you want to go where everybody knows your name. That’s because having a sense of connection with others is vital to our well-being. Belonging to a faith community, support group or fitness class is a great way to build connection; as is joining a club with a shared interest, be it quilting, books, dungeons or dragons. Just getting together regularly with a friend for coffee can fill this need. Even in our current, virtual world, there are ways to gather and share a common experience.
Progress – To move forward. To have a sense of accomplishment is critical for our well-being. The two most important ingredients for making progress are what we eat and how we move. Wait, what? It’s true. Because food and activity are how we derive our energy, these are the two most fundamental things we need to progress toward any goal. Making small steps to our daily habits is progress in and of itself. When we eat healthier foods and exercise regularly, we have more energy, think more clearly, and are more productive.
As you ease into 2021, what small changes will you make to bring Restoration, Hope and Progress into your life?
Me parece que Marisol todavía sabe cómo encontrar la voluntad que se nos presenta cada día, a pesar de que enfrentemos la incertidumbre que es propulsada en conjunto con la propagación del coronavirus, en estos tiempos. Sus consejos de que “ponemos las mascarillas” y que sigamos con “confianza y cuidarnos” reflejan el puesto de vigilancia que adoptamos frente a una pandemia que “hacemos lo más que se pueda” cada hogar en sí mismo. A la misma vez, todos nosotros colectivamente esperamos, a través de una neblina de incertidumbre, que sí se ponga en práctica el mismo compromiso por parte de los hogares de nuestros vecinos, compañeros de trabajo y los desconocidos — a los que se nos vincula por ninguna otra razón de que este evento mundial se ha ocurrido.
Marisol elige enfocarse en aquellos para quienes ya asume la responsabilidad, y de quienes derive la motivación diaria: sus hijos. Vive en casa con su esposo y cuatro niños que abarcan las edades de 5 hasta 22 años — claro que cuando le pregunté sobre cómo organizaba el aprendizaje a distanciamiento para cumplir los varios requisitos a través de estas fases de desarrollo, empezó a reír. Parecía estar expresando cuán heroico es el labor del cuidado maternal, un esfuerzo todavía más intensificado frente al coronavirus. Marisol ha observado y se ha sentido la gran inquietud, por su propia parte y por la de sus hijos, que se produce donde “no hay mucha confianza, desconfían de uno” por la comunidad. Este sentimiento pesa en las actitudes frágiles de los jóvenes que, debido a tanto miedo sobre lo que trae consigo el mundo afuera, “no tienen convivir” y son “tímidos.” No obstante, ella ha podido estar para animar los espíritus de sus seres queridos, especialmente porque los familiares que sean parte de su hogar representan la extensión, en total, de la familia que vive cerca. Entonces, con y por ellos, Marisol rellena la experiencia de quedarse físicamente aislados: con bastante conversación, la gama de música y celebración entre ellos (de los cumpleaños, de Thanksgiving), por las maneras limitadas posibles en ahora mismo. Ella satisface los vacíos del día que tal vez estén en riesgo de ser invadidos por la soledad, metiéndose en la cabeza de cada persona tanta preocupación.
Aún así, para Marisol y su esposo, quienes trabajan siete días a la semana, no hay tiempo para pensar demasiado: siguen adelante de ida y vuelta entre la casa y el trabajo. Además, todavía encuentran momentos aquí y allá para montar en bicicletas con la familia, o solo para reír. Y platicando y exclamando con Marisol, notaba cuán positivismo constructivo lleva y comparte ella. Su perspectiva permanece que “hay que aprovechar,” de cada minuto que duramos en esta vida, y “cuando hay oportunidad,” debemos celebrar todo, aun si esta oportunidad justo es reconocer la capacidad de mantenernos positivos y adaptarnos. Entonces, Marisol nos anima que “en este año muy difícil, hay que sobrellevarlo todo muy bien.” Ella me levantaba tanto durante la media hora que compartimos; yo sí tengo que darle la gracias a ella, por equipar a mí y a todos nosotros con una actitud franca de que la vida sigue marchando. Continuamos enfrentando, conscientemente, todo lo que trae consigo.
We’ve got to smile all over life
It seems to me that Marisol still knows how to find the willpower that each day presents us with, despite facing the uncertainty propelled along with the spread of the coronavirus in these times. Her advice that we “wear our masks” and that we keep going with “confidence and watching out for ourselves” reflects the awareness that “we are doing what we can” within each of our own households. At the same time, all of us collectively expect, through a fog of uncertainty, that the same commitment is being practiced by the households of our neighbors, coworkers and those we don’t know — to whom we are linked for no other reason than that this worldwide event has occurred.
Marisol chooses to focus herself on the ones for whom she already assumes responsibility, and from whom she derives her daily motivation: her children. She lives with her husband and four kids spanning ages from 5 to 22 years — of course, when I asked her about how she organizes distance learning to take care of the various requirements across these different stages of development, she started to laugh. It seemed she was expressing what a heroic effort the labor of a mother’s work is, an effort more intensified facing the coronavirus. Marisol has observed and felt the great discomfort, on her own part and that of her children, that comes when “there isn’t much confidence,” and “people don’t trust one another” throughout the community. This feeling weighs on the fragile outlooks of her children, who, from so much fear over what the outside world brings, “aren’t sticking together” and are “timid.” She has been able to lift the spirits of her loved ones, especially because the family members in her immediate household make up the whole of the family that lives nearby. So, with and for them, Marisol fills in the experience of staying physically isolated: enough conversation, a range of music, and celebration amongst themselves (of birthdays, of Thanksgiving), in the limited ways possible nowadays. She satisfies the spaces in the day that sometimes risk being invaded with loneliness, filling each of our heads with so much worry.
Still, for Marisol and her husband, who work seven days a week, there isn’t too much time to overthink: they move forward as they go back and forth between the house and the workplace. And further, they still find the moments here and there to ride bikes with the whole family, or just to laugh. While chatting and exclaiming with Marisol, I noticed how much constructive positivity she carries and shares. Her perspective remains that “we must take advantage” of every minute that we endure in this life, and “when there is opportunity,” we should celebrate everything, even if this opportunity is just recognizing the capacity we have to stay positive and adapt. So, Marisol encourages us that, “in this difficult year, we must overcome everything very well.” She lifted me up so much during the half hour we shared; I’ve got to give her thanks, for equipping me, and all of us, with a frank outlook that life keeps marching onward. We continue consciously facing all that it brings with it.
AUTHOR: Libby Kokes, Tillamook County Community Health Center, Health Equity VISTA
PHOTO CREDIT: Bureau of Land Management 2016
For more local health and wellness information, follow Tillamook County Wellness on Facebook, Instagram and Twitter.
The COVID-19 pandemic has significantly impacted the school system as teachers learn to provide education virtually, students adapt to an online environment, and families balance working and learning all within the same home. It is easy to forget that school systems offer far more than just an education; they provide meals, childcare, transportation, supplies, peer interaction, and a network of support staff. As a Speech Language Pathologist for Tillamook County’s Early Intervention program, Kaylie Seymour provides support and guidance to families with children who need extra help learning to communicate, specifically those ages 0 – 3 with speech delays, communication disorders, autism or down syndrome, or who are nonverbal. Like many of those within school systems, the transition to virtual work was not easy as some families are uninterested or unable to meet virtually. Yet, there has been a silver lining with families who have been able to meet through Zoom: the removal of travel time between households has freed up more space in Kaylie’s schedule so that she can meet with families more frequently. This increase in interaction time, even if virtual, has led to stronger emotional connections being built with families in the community – something that is much needed in today’s world.
Although Kaylie has been able to support families more frequently through working virtually, the adjustment has also come with its own personal challenges. When the stay-at-home orders were set in March, Kaylie had just returned to her relatively new position within Early Intervention after taking maternity leave. This meant she was still learning to navigate the policies and procedures of the organization as she was also transitioning to working from home and caring for a new baby. When work and home become the same environment, it is challenging to draw a line between the two. As Kaylie pointed out in the balance of work and caregiving for her son: “You’re working and thinking of him or playing with him and thinking of work. I really had to sit down and decide to carve out family time where I wouldn’t check my phone or email.” It can be extremely difficult to set boundaries within any aspect of life, but COVID-19 has created even greater challenges. Kaylie and her family of 3 have maintained a tight bubble, and they have been hesitant to physically spend time with extended family members who have not taken as many precautions. Within these circumstances, Kaylie has felt torn: “Either I feel guilty that I’ve broken our close-knit family COVID-19 rules or I feel guilty for not letting my parents see their grandson.” As the holidays are upon us, these are the feelings that many of us are grappling with as we try to prioritize the safety of our families while also not losing those crucial connections.
Within this socially-distanced world, communication is a vital aspect of well-being. Kaylie relies on video calls with extended family and regular check-in text messages from close friends as a method for making it through each day. She also points out that navigating parenting in a pandemic is a new challenge in itself, and acknowledging and communicating stress limits is a form of self-care. More recently, Kaylie and her family have been trying to recreate favorite activities from before the onset of COVID-19. For example, planning a craft night with friends over Zoom where everyone gathers supplies ahead of time to work on the same project together, or recreating a movie theater by making buttery popcorn, dimming the lights, and turning off cell phones. These last few months have been challenging as we adapt to a virtual world and learn to set healthy boundaries, but a little creativity with the help of a few loved ones has the potential to go a long way in finding moments of joy.
AUTHOR: Ariel Slifka, Tillamook County Wellness AmeriCorps VISTA
For more local health and wellness information, follow Tillamook County Wellness on Facebook, Instagram and Twitter.
We’ve been sharing ways to #CopeWell during stressful and uncertain times. Because mental health is connected to our physical well-being, health care services are increasingly offering mental and behavioral health services in conjunction with primary care to effectively address root causes of health concerns. This Wellness Wednesday tribute goes to Adventist Health Tillamook and their providers who share information about these vital services.
What are some of the more common issues for which people are seeking help right now?
We are definitely seeing an increase in individuals struggling with feelings of anxiety and depression, but anxiety seems to be the predominant emotion at this time. It is important to recognize that anxiety and depression affect children as well as adults. It is estimated that about 7.1% of children, ages 3-17 experience these conditions. There is also a lifetime prevalence of 28.8%, with the average age of onset around age 11.
What are common warning signs for this condition?
Common warning signs people should look for include excessive worry, restlessness, insomnia, racing thoughts and fear of the future. If any person is experiencing these symptoms, it is important to schedule a visit with their primary care provider who will work with their care team to support their mental and physical health needs.
What are some of the specific services your organization provides that help individuals with these concerns?
As a first line of treatment, patients are provided counseling or behavioral health treatment. Typically, this is a form of talk therapy where a person gains insight into their thoughts and how they are affected by anxiety, and then develops an understanding of how to best cope with it. There are also more specialized approaches that some therapists utilize such as somatic experience, movement, or Eye-Movement Desensitization Reprocessing (EMDR) to name a few. There are also medications such as SSRI’s which can help reduce a person’s feelings of anxiety, which would be prescribed by their medical provider.
Are these services covered by insurance and/or do you offer a sliding scale for payment?
Adventist Health Tillamook accepts insurance for behavioral health services, and if someone does not have insurance, the hospital has a financial assistance program to help those who otherwise might not be able to afford these services.
With multiple behavioral health providers working within the Adventist Health system, you can find one that fits your needs. And just like with medical care, if your provider does not suit your needs, it is your right to switch providers. Having a provider you feel shares a connection is vital within behavioral health care.
Cuando Marilu y yo nos pusimos en contacto la una con la otra para hablar sobre este momento “bien difícil que cambió la vida” para toda la comunidad, ella me admitió que no había pensado poder “hablar ni expresarme bien” a propósito de ser entrevistada sobre tal asunto. Yo espero que ella me estuviera platicando a tono de broma cuando menospreció sus consejos alrededor de cómo sobrellevar los días frente a la pandemia del coronavirus. Lo que me compartió fueron estrategias sumamente realistas que uno puede aplicar universal y duraderamente para seguir adelante.
Su actitud pragmática de que “tenemos que hacer todas las reglas que se requieren; si no obedecemos las reglas, sigue peor, sigue más contagio del virus,” aparentemente resuena con la realidad que recién hemos observado por la subida de infecciones esta temporada otoñal. Durante la última semana de noviembre, el estado de Oregón continuó estableciendo nuevos máximos semanales de casos y hospitalizaciones. Y el Condado de Tillamook, hasta el 2 de diciembre, tenía que contar a la gravedad de 148 casos confirmados y presuntos en total (La Autoridad de Salud de Oregón [OHA], actualizaciones y datos disponibles en https://govstatus.egov.com/OR-OHA-COVID-19.) Es probable que el tono directo de Marilu derive de su experiencia ya extensa bajo la pandemia de adaptar las cosas para protegerse a sí misma y a la familia. Trabaja en limpieza de casas y tempranamente se acostumbró a trabajar menos horas mientras tomaba las precauciones comprensivas para prevenir la propagación del virus, minuto por minuto. Entrar y arreglar los espacios vividos por otros cuyas interacciones e itinerarios diarios permanecen desconocidos desde el punto de vista de Marilu — este servicio ha pedido a ella que asuma bastante riesgo. Lo ha combatido por,entre otras medidas, mantener la puerta abierta, poner la mascarilla y los guantes, desinfectar más las superficies y las sábanas — cada momento trabajado ahora es estructurado por una regulación que higieniza el marco. Más que nada, enfatiza que “trato de limpiarme bien antes de entrar a la casa para sentirme segura de que no voy a traer infecciones al llegar [allí].”
Para Marilu, como para muchos, el hogar contiene a las razones, personificadas, por las que ella se compromete a hacer todas las medidas preventivas, bien en el lugar del trabajo o en los sitios públicos esenciales, minimizados que sean. Tiene el orgullo de ser madre de cuatro hijos, algunos de quienes todavía viven a su lado en casa. Con respecto a ellos que ya se han mudado fuera, como su hijo mayor, Marilu espera que, algún otro día, su hogar podría albergar a la familia que sigue creciendo: la niña de él justo cumplió los dos años. Pero debido a los aislamientos requisitos de casa a casa, Marilu no pudo hacerle una fiesta para ella, su primera nieta. En vez de poder tocarle a la muchacha con el cariño compartido por una abuela, se ha acostumbrado a “visitarla” a través del teléfono o la computadora. Asistir a reuniones electrónicas o digitales es algo que se ha convertido más común en su vida, en conjunto con otras en la comunidad hispana que vienen de los deseos de reunirse con la familia y de celebrar todos juntos. Pese a la imposibilidad de reconfortarse uno en la compañía de multitudes, especialmente cuando muchas personas hispanas se han enfrentado a “tantos casos” en sus comunidades, Marilu permanece una mujer de la fe. Les anima a los que tienen depresión y que sienten tristes que “tenemos que tener la fe, o si no, buscar ayuda.” Ya que “salían las emociones [de las personas en la comunidad] porque siempre van a andar con este miedo de que agarremos el virus,” Marilu subraya que “si pone uno al pensar o estresarse, es peor.” Por lo menos, tenemos que “parecer positivos y no negativos,” — tal vez fingir una emoción puede llegar creando la cosa auténtica. Dicho esto, Marilu no se conforma a pura ilusión. Nos aconseja que “sigan las reglas, tomen todas las precauciones, que no pierdan la fe.” Esta fe se mantiene con pasos prácticos en el camino hacia “una vida más normal” — que incluye quizás una reunión en persona — y que venga en el horizonte que creemos.
To Move Forward We Must Have Faith
When Marilu and I got in touch with each other to talk about this moment, one “so difficult that changed life for the whole community,” she admitted that she had thought she could not “talk or express myself well” in being interviewed on such a matter. I hope that she was joking when she diminished her advice on how to endure days facing the coronavirus pandemic. Because what she shared with me were extremely realistic strategies that one can apply universally and lastingly to keep moving forward.
Her pragmatic attitude that “we have to follow all the regulations that are required; if we don’t comply with them, things will get worse and there will be more infection from the virus,” seemingly resounds with the reality we are observing with the surge in infections this fall season. During the last week of November, the state of Oregon continued setting new weekly highs for cases and hospitalizations. And Tillamook County, on December 2nd, had to count up the seriousness of 148 confirmed and presumptive cases in total (source: Oregon Health Authority [OHA], updates and data available at https://govstatus.egov.com/OR-OHA-COVID-19). It’s likely that Marilu’s straightforward tone comes from her already extensive experience under the pandemic adapting things to protect herself and her family. She works in housekeeping and early on adjusted to working fewer hours, while taking many precautions to prevent the spread of the virus, minute to minute. To enter into and arrange the spaces lived in by others, whose daily interactions and itineraries remain unknown from Marilu’s point of view — this service has asked her to assume quite enough risk. She has combatted it by, among other measures, leaving the door open, wearing mask and gloves, further disinfecting surfaces and sheets — each moment worked now is structured by a routine that sanitizes the setting. More than anything, she emphasizes that she “[tries] to clean myself well before entering the house to feel certain I’m not bringing infection when I arrive.”
For Marilu, as for many, the home contains the reasons for which she commits to take all preventive measures, whether in the workplace or in the essential public places, minimized as they are. She carries the pride of being mother to four children, some of whom still live by her side in the house. As for those that have already moved out, like her eldest son, Marilu hopes that, some other day, her home could host the family that keeps growing: his little girl just turned two years old. Due to the isolations required household to household, Marilu couldn’t put on a party for her, her first granddaughter. Instead of being able to hold the girl with the care that a grandmother shares, she has become accustomed to “visiting her” through the phone or the computer. Attending virtual gatherings is something that has become more commonplace in her life, together with others in the Hispanic community that come from desires to reunite with family and celebrate altogether. Due to the impossibility of comforting oneself in the company of multitudes, especially when many Hispanic people are confronting “so many cases” in their communities, Marilu remains a woman of faith. She encourages those that are experiencing depression and that feel sadness that “we must keep the faith, and if not, seek help.” Given that “everyone’s emotions are coming out because we are always walking with the fear that we might catch the virus,” Marilu underlines that “if one gets to [over]thinking or stressing themselves, it is worse.” At the least, we’ve got to “seem positive, not negative,” — sometimes faking an emotion can end up creating the real thing. That said, Marilu doesn’t settle for wishful thinking. She advises “sticking to the rules, taking all precautions, not losing faith” — this faith is maintained in practical steps, on the path toward “a more normal life” — including perhaps an in-person reunion — and that comes on the horizon we create.
AUTHOR: Libby Kokes, Health Equity AmeriCorps VISTA at Tillamook County Community Health Center
For more local health and wellness information, follow Tillamook County Wellness on Facebook, Instagram and Twitter.
