by Guest | Feb 22, 2023 | Being Well
February is all about love since the major holiday is Valentine’s Day. The focus is often about showing that special someone how you feel about them. But what about the relationship you have with yourself? How much love and kindness do you show yourself?
First, let’s define the difference between self-care and self-love, as these terms are often used interchangeably yet are actually different. While self-care and self-love are both classified as nouns, self-care is about the actions we take to show ourselves care and regard while self-love is defined as the “regard for one’s own happiness”, accepting ourselves fully, and treating ourselves with kindness. Both are essential, and you cannot have one without the other, yet self-care is action oriented and self-love is rooted in thoughts and feelings. Self-care is everything from brushing your teeth and good sleep hygiene to massages, pedicures, and other indulgences or pampering. Self-love is the inner and outer dialogue we have with and about ourselves, how we treat ourselves compared to others, and how we then allow others to treat us.
When you have love for yourself it means you have an overall positive view of yourself. It does not mean you are selfish, vain, or narcissistic, despite what some may believe. Self-love does not keep you from loving others or having empathy, it simply means that you treat yourself with the same love and kindness you would show others and do not prioritize them to your own detriment. It does not mean you think you are above making mistakes or having flaws, yet you still love yourself regardless of any imperfections.
Self-love does not mean you never have unpleasant feelings towards yourself either. That would be nearly impossible as we are human and experience a vast range of emotions. Yet when you have love for yourself, navigating more difficult or uncomfortable emotions becomes easier. In fact, in Emotional Freedom Techniques, an evidenced based modality used to help with emotional regulation and also known as EFT or tapping, the set up phrases end with “and I love and accept myself fully”. This helps build and strengthen neural pathways that support self-love and self-acceptance by “tricking” the brain into feeling more self-love.
Self-love also means that you do not sacrifice your own well-being for that of another. When you do not love yourself, you become susceptible to abuse, boundary violations, and manipulation. You stop practicing habits that promote or sustain good health. You speak to yourself in an unkind and negative way that erodes your self-esteem or causes you to be a people pleaser or perfectionist. You may make riskier choices or put yourself in harm’s way. Typically, if you do not have self-love, then you do not have a healthy self-care practice either. This may mean you are not eating healthy, getting good sleep, going to the doctor, paying bills on time, developing healthy and safe relationships, etc.. This is where self-care and self-love overlap. The better your self-love is, the better your self-care practice is and vice versa.
Self-love is also essential for us to build healthy relationships with others, pursue our bigger goals and dreams, and live a more fulfilling, vibrant life.
How do you begin to build a self-love practice?
Become aware of the messages you tell yourself, interrupt the negative ones, and begin to replace them with more loving, kind thoughts. EFT is a great tool for this and so are sticky notes with affirmations or kind messages placed where you can see them. Practice forgiveness and gratitude toward yourself. Put your needs first on your list and speak up about what you need, including asking for help. Set boundaries and know your core values. Honor your emotions and celebrate your strengths and wins(especially the little ones we often overlook, adulting is hard, some days putting on pants is a win). Have realistic expectations of yourself and let go of what you cannot control. Give yourself grace and compassion. And most importantly, build a sustainable self-care practice that allows and encourages you to take care of your whole self.
“How you love yourself is how you teach others to love you.” – Rupi Kaur
AUTHOR: Amanda Ferrat, Founder of Value Yourself Counseling LLC and Certified Advanced EFT Practitioner & Wellness Counselor
by Guest | Feb 14, 2023 | Recipes
Prep Time: 10 minutes
Ingredients:
- 6 mini Hershey’s special dark chocolate bars (chopped)
- 2 cups plain nonfat greek yogurt
- 2 tbsp honey or 4 packets artificial sweetner
- 1 tsp vanilla extract
- ¼ cup skim milk
- 6 tbsp whipped topping
- 2 cups fresh raspberries
Directions:
- Add the chopped chocolate to a microwave-safe bowl. Microwave the chocolate on high for 1 minute, then stir. If not completely melted, microwave for 30 more seconds, then stir until all chunks are melted. Do not overcook.
- In a medium mixing bowl, whip the Greek yogurt with an electric mixer until fluffy. Add the honey, vanilla, and milk and beat some more. Then add the chocolate, a small amount at a time, beating in between additions.
- Once all of the chocolate is mixed into the yogurt, divide the mousse into 6 portions and top each portion with 1/3 cup raspberries and 1 tablespoon whipped topping.
Recipe Source: The Diabetes Cookbook/Diabetes Forecast. Recipe Credit: Lara Rondinelli-Hamilton, RD, CDE, and Jennifer Bucko Lamplough. https://www.diabetesfoodhub.org/recipes/greek-yogurt-chocolate-mousse.html
Photo Credit: Photography by Terry Doran; Food Styling by Skyler Myers; Styled by Stacey Heston.
by Guest | Feb 8, 2023 | Being Well
When we think of healthy relationships, especially around Valentine’s Day, our thoughts often go to dating or marriage. We know it isn’t always hearts and roses when it comes to relationships. It can be a lot of hard work and it doesn’t always work. It might surprise us to know that the health of our adult relationships ties back to the earliest stages of life.
Long-standing research has shown that secure bonds of attachment between a baby and its caregiver play a significant role in a child’s development. In one study, researchers observed mother rats who licked their baby rats, a form of maternal bonding. Those babies had higher levels of serotonin (a feel-good hormone) than baby rats who did not get slobbery kisses from their moms. Even more interesting, the pups licked by the mother experienced functional changes in their DNA; changes that altered how their brains and bodies responded to stress.
Former California Surgeon General, Nadine Burke-Harris, explains the rat experiment in her book, The Deepest Well, to highlight how positive, early life experiences impact the brain’s ability to tolerate stress and manage emotions. Going back to our rat families, researchers were amazed to discover that even if baby rats were exposed to significant stress and trauma, if they had that bonding experience, they were less affected by it than rats without the stressful environment and no maternal bonding.
What does the rat experiment have to do with having healthy adult relationships? People who don’t experience secure attachment during early stages of development tend to devote more energy to managing their emotions or protecting themselves emotionally, rather than using their energy to explore, learn and safely interact with others. Having the ability to recognize and manage our own emotional states and co-regulate those with other people is key to having healthy relationships. Along with having empathy, these are the basic qualities of Emotional Intelligence (EQ), which is also tied to greater academic and job success in life.
When early, secure attachment doesn’t occur, other positive experiences can help fill the gap. Consistent, nurturing experiences in childcare and preschool environments and with extended family, neighbors and other community connections contribute to “licking our pups” and, thus, play a large role in helping kids build resilience and the foundation for strong and healthy relationships.
School bus drivers, teachers, staff, and counselors who interact with kids daily are often serving in these roles. We are fortunate to have trauma-informed educators and staff in Tillamook County, who understand and utilize these practices. We teach children the ABCs so they can learn to read and write. Increasingly, schools are integrating Social-Emotional Learning (SEL) to guide kids’ understanding of how emotions drive their thinking and behavior. Early bonding and attachment are the ideal, but it is only one opportunity to support raising healthy and resilient humans.
Every community touchpoint matters. Programs such as Scouts, 4-H, youth sports and other positive outlets for kids, not only put them with nurturing mentors and coaches but also help them develop essential skills for managing emotions and working together with others. By the way, those programs are always looking for volunteers (hint, hint).
If we are struggling with maintaining healthy relationships, there is help and hope. Tillamook Family Counseling Center, along with all our local medical providers offer counseling. Tides of Change is a valuable resource for people who have experienced or are experiencing intimate partner violence or domestic abuse.
It’s also important to remember that you are the only person you will be with your whole life. The healthiest relationship begins with us. We need to treat ourselves the way we would counsel a friend, with compassion, patience, and love.
References: Burke-Harris, N. (2020). The Deepest Well. Pan Macmillan.
AUTHOR: Michelle Jenck, Adventist Health Tillamook Director of Community Well-Being
Other wellness questions? Email us at info@tillamookcountywellness.org. For more local health and wellness information, visit www.tillamookcountywellness.org or follow Tillamook County Wellness on Facebook and Instagram.
by Guest | Feb 1, 2023 | Recipes
Prep Time: 10 minutes
Cook Time: 20 minutes
Ingredients
- 2 cans (15 ounces each) pinto beans, drained and rinsed
- 1 cup salsa
- 1 ½ cups corn (fresh or frozen, or a 15-ounce can, drained and rinsed)
- ½ cup chopped mild green chiles (4-ounce can)
- ½ teaspoon garlic powder or 2 cloves garlic, finely chopped
- 1 ½ cups shredded cheese
- 8 whole wheat flour tortillas (10-inches) or 12 corn tortillas (6-inches)
- 1 can (15 ounces) enchilada sauce
Directions
- Wash hands with soap and water.
- Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Lightly oil or spray a 9 x 13-inch baking dish.
- Mix beans, salsa, corn, chiles, garlic and half of the cheese together in a bowl.
- Warm each tortilla in a dry skillet and stack them on a plate.
- Spoon about 1/2 cup of the bean mixture onto each tortilla.
- Roll the tortilla and place seam-side down in the baking dish.
- Pour enchilada sauce over the tortillas and sprinkle with remaining cheese.
- Bake for 15-20 minutes, or until hot.
- Refrigerate leftovers within 2 hours.
Notes:
- Substitute black beans or kidney beans for the pinto beans.
- Cook your own dry beans. One can (15 ounces) is about 1 1/2 to 1 3/4 cups drained beans.
- Try substituting cooked chicken or turkey for beans.
- Topping ideas: hot sauce, avocado, black olives, green onion, lettuce, radishes, or low-fat plain yogurt or sour cream.
Recipe and Photo Source: https://www.foodhero.org/recipes/easy-cheesy-enchiladas
by Guest | Jan 25, 2023 | Being Well
Taking the first step is often the most difficult part of starting any new journey. For those of us living with prediabetes, it is also a critical decision that may protect us from the emotional, medical, and financial challenges of developing type 2 diabetes. The National Diabetes Prevention Program (NDPP) offered by lifestyle coaches here at the Tillamook Family YMCA is a free program designed to provide the health education and group support for lasting lifestyle changes that can help reverse prediabetes.
Earlier this month, Kelly Benson and Shannon Ayers from the YMCA spoke on KTIL’s Tillamook Today about the next cohort of the NDPP program starting up in February. Kelly has been leading NDPP since 2018 and always looks forward to providing the support and space for folks to identify and work toward their individual goals. The NDPP class covers topics around nutrition and exercise, but its main focus is to help individuals find ideas and routines that work best for them. One of the biggest benefits of the NDPP class is the group support and knowing that there are others going through the same process and facing similar challenges. Kelly pointed out that although the class eventually drops to every other week attendance, participants often want to continue meeting weekly because the group connections and accountability are helpful motivators.
For Shannon Ayers, the idea that the NDPP class can be life-changing is an experience she understands personally. Although she currently works as a fitness instructor at the Y and recently received her personal trainer certification, this is a drastic shift from her life a few years ago: “When covid hit, I was at rock bottom with my health. I was close to 300 pounds, and I suffered from a lot of sciatic back pain and the last blood work I had with my doctor showed I was in the prediabetes range, very close to being diabetic. There’s a very strong genetic component in my family and I knew I was in big trouble.”
She started with a flexibility class that helped ease her back pain and open the door for more movement. As COVID-19 restrictions lifted, Shannon looked into the Tillamook Family YMCA and found the NDPP class “which changed everything.” Since completing this year long program, her blood sugar (A1C) levels have dropped all the way back to a normal range and she has found that almost every aspect of her life has improved, from her knee pain to her sleep schedule to her personal relationships. When asked what she would tell others who are considering a program like NDPP, she responded: “Do it now. You can wait for a little longer and things are going to get worse and eventually the choice will be made for you.”
The 2023 NDPP cohort will meet on Thursday, February 23rd from 5:30 to 6:30 pm at the YMCA. NDPP is a completely free year-long program that meets once a week for the first 16 weeks and then shifts to every other week for the rest of the year. The YMCA will also be offering a free Chronic Disease Self-Management program starting on Wednesday, March 1st at 5:30 pm for anyone managing any chronic disease (such as diabetes, arthritis, chronic pain, heart disease, and others). If you’re interested in joining either of these programs, contact Kelly Benson at 503-842-9622 ext 111 at the YMCA to register.
