Progress over Perfection Update Written by Emery Edwards
Almost a year ago, I wrote and published an article about my journey of pursuing progress over perfection. I’m a year and a half into my journey, so I thought it’s time for an update.
Having a progress over perfection mindset has changed my life for the better. Before last year, I believed that if I couldn’t do something perfectly the first time, I couldn’t, or wouldn’t, do it at all. This was a toxic mindset and not only limited my journey towards physical health, but also my creativity. I wish that someone had been realistic with me about what this actually looks like. Even now, it’s hard not to compare when I see people accomplishing their weight loss, fitness, or other health goals, in shorter periods of time. However, if you’re interested in pursuing your goals with the progress over perfection mindset, it’s important to recognize that comparison is the thief of joy. Your body, your goals, what you enjoy, and your circumstances, will never be the same as someone else’s. And for me, I’m still changing my habits and learning what works for me. In the process, however, I’ve found so much more joy and happiness than I have ever known possible, but that isn’t reflected on the scale at the doctor’s office.
When I began this journey of progress over perfection, I felt so out of touch with my body and I was constantly inflamed, bloated, and in pain. I had lost a significant amount of muscle mass during a particularly bad bout of depression; and combined with the effects of staying indoors during COVID, I felt trapped inside myself. I couldn’t move the way I wanted; I didn’t feel the way I wanted and had no idea how to fix it. How can you change decades of poor eating habits, and a lifelong toxic relationship with food and exercise? Well, the answer for me was I had to start somewhere. Anywhere, really. And that’s the key with having a progress over perfection mindset- start anywhere and make small, incremental changes that you can sustain for the rest of your life. So, that’s what I did. I started by just trying to get more protein and fiber. Then I started walking along the bay. I discovered I enjoyed doing it, so I started walking more often. There were days when I wanted to go on a walk and yet I felt stagnant and trapped. I found on those days, saying ‘if I get out there and don’t want to anymore, I’ll go home’ helped, because I have never regretted going for a walk. Not even the time I got stuck in a sudden hailstorm.
Perfection is the enemy of good. The enemy of feeling good. If I kept quitting after not reaching my unrealistic goals the first time, I wouldn’t be where I am today – a happier, healthier version of myself than I ever thought possible. I make delicious and nutritious meals, I forage, I take walks, I don’t get winded on the stairs, I dance for hours with my friends, hike for miles… the list goes on. It’s a far cry from when I started – unable to walk a half mile without fatigue. For me, taking a step to tap into what I enjoyed doing as a kid, like bike riding or gardening, helped me be more successful. Even collecting things can be physical activity! I spend hours walking miles along the beach looking for agates or in the forest foraging for mushrooms. Try different things and see what works for you and stick with it, not because you must, but because you want to. Getting physical activity in doesn’t have to mean spending hours in the gym unless you want it to. In my experience, walking and spending time in nature has become a favorite pastime. I do it for fun now and it’s helped me regain my creative spark. I have built muscle, I have regained my confidence, I sleep better, I create more often, I have the energy to show up for my community, and the scale still hasn’t changed. It’s changing your habits slowly and consistently that will get you to where you want to be. Not shame, blame, or perfectionism. Instead, it takes time, love, and care.
Someone once told me that every meal is a chance to learn more about yourself. Every meal, whether you’re following your goals or eating a mound of french fries for dinner, has something you can learn from it. Paying attention to the feeling you get when you eat different things is important. Do you eat that mound of fries and then feel exhausted after? Do you have energy after eating that chicken caesar? No amount of research will tell you the perfect plan for you and your lifestyle, but it can provide you with guidelines and ideas. Eating more protein and fiber, building muscle, being active, limiting your sugar intake… are all important features of a healthy lifestyle. But this world is full of challenges when it comes to eating healthfully, exercising, and maintaining the habits that help you feel your best. Advertising, social pressures, holidays, and a host of other circumstances put those of us who struggle to self-regulate our eating habits and physical activity in daily battles. Sometimes, especially during the holidays, it can feel like an all-out war. A physician can tell you to follow a certain diet, follow the weekly guidelines for physical activity, avoid certain foods, etc. Work with your healthcare provider to find a plan that works for your physical and dietary needs—getting a dietician was so helpful for me!
At the end of the day, it’s always easier said than done, but this is where progress over perfection comes in. Rome wasn’t built in a day, and your ideal habits and lifestyle won’t be, either. It takes hard work, determination to feel better, and the willingness to try and fail over and over. It takes trial and error to figure out what works for you, and that’s what the perfection mindset robs you of. So, this year, instead of trying to adhere to strict, unrealistic, New Years Resolutions, I have a new challenge for you. Try, fail, and try again. I think you’ll find some things that are worth sticking to for the long term. Who knows, you might enjoy it!