Greetings Everyone! My name is Stephen Mintie and I live in Tillamook with my wonderful wife. I’ve gotten to know a lot of people in the area in the short time I’ve been here which is partially due to my endeavors in amateur videography. This allows me to be a visual storyteller in how I share my life. People regularly get to see a rich personal life I’m very grateful for that includes paragliding, hiking, community involvement, dining with my wife, and various adventures. What they don’t know is that I’ve had some times in my life of deep despair that has translated to some heavy anxiety and depression that still impacts me to this day and it has affected my physical health as well.
We all face different circumstances and traumas. We all process information and are motivated differently. Our tolerances vary as well. With that said, here are some things that have helped me pull out of my moments of weakness and pain though it is still very much a work in progress.
Light exercise goes a long way! A job of a physical nature or hobbies can help. There was a time I didn’t have either. I elected to do some sit ups, push ups, and a light jog a few times a week. After about a month and a half, I was improving. The biggest benefit was that physical activity led to better mental strength. Exercise does not need to be about vanity, it only takes a little work consistently for your mind and body to reap the rewards. When the chips are down, you need all the cards you can get in your deck.
What you put into your body matters. For a long time I was eating a frozen pizza for dinner late at night while washing it down with copious amounts of beer. This absolutely set me back pretty hard. I started developing what felt like an allergy to what I thought was gluten which has since subsided as I’ve changed this habit. The way I went about this was I started eating healthy foods such as greens and vegetables during the day. I felt it was easier to do during my working hours when I wasn’t chasing food for comfort. In the evening, I learned how to take healthy ingredients, but make it into something that tasted satisfying. I was able to feed the habit, and the habit didn’t know it was good for me. – Alcohol doesn’t serve anybody when things are hard. It’s a depressant and after a drink or two, it’s essentially poison. Do I still drink? Yes. Would I benefit from abstaining altogether? Absolutely. I wasn’t going to stop though, but I was thoughtful about its impacts. I stopped buying hard liquor in stores and stuck with low ABV beer. These days I have a pretty set limit of how much I’ll drink, but I wouldn’t consider it to be within healthy ranges. Remember, if your mind is hurting, alcohol is your enemy. A few hours of feeling good is only borrowing a few hours of happiness that has to be repaid back times 4.
Focus on growth rather than goals. You can fail while growing and even if you hit goals, you still will want to continue growing. Growth means that you don’t stop trying. Growth also means pursuing things that fill your personal cup and provide you with more mental stamina and relief. This varies wildly from person to person. Comparing yourself to others hinders growth.
In a world filled with people who are healthy and sick, rich and poor, only your story matters because it’s your health and mental well being on the line. We should absolutely care and empathize with others, but you can help people a lot more if you are happy and healthy. Growth also doesn’t have to be solely related towards eating right and exercising. The happiest people out there are also the most gracious. Grow in gratitude, be kind, and help others. Life is full of pain and disappointment for many. Think of ways to put a smile on somebody’s face. If you feel rudderless without direction, sometimes all you can do is your best. If you can’t find the light, be the light!
Lastly and while this applies to everyone, I’m really speaking to the men out there. Don’t be afraid to say something if you’re hurting. Some of my best pals and I talk about it all the time. It makes us human and relatable. I’ve made more friends in my life being open, honest, oftentimes self deprecating rather than bragging or making it seem like everything is in order. At the end of the day you are not alone. Life is not meant to be lived in quiet desperation and nothing changes if nothing changes. Regardless of your self esteem, say to yourself “I want to feel good, I want to be ok, and I would like to be happy too.” After that, start thinking about little things you are capable of doing every day consistently that will help you head in that direction. The time of my life where I started doing these things was a time I did not have hope whatsoever. I couldn’t see the way out, but I knew if I didn’t try the basics, I was going to sink. While I am a very lucky man now, I often think, “wow, there were so many times I just wanted to give up, and if I had, I would have had none of this.”
Don’t ever give up and remember, there’s a trick to eating an elephant, you have to take small bites.