As we step into a new year, many of us may be reflecting on different aspects of our lives. Although many of us might think of New Year’s resolutions such as eating more veggies or trying out a gym membership, taking a moment to look at our personal relationships and where our individual happiness lies is just as important in terms of our overall well-being. Tides of Change, a local advocacy organization, provides an overview of how our relationships can function to both positively and negatively impact our health – and offers information around how to access free, confidential services for anyone who might need support in any stage of a relationship, both past and present:

Did you know your relationship affects your health? All types of relationships, negative and positive, both past and present affect your health. Relationships with your friends, your family, the person you are dating or with your partner all affect your health.

Healthy relationships promote overall health and well-being, lead to better physical and mental health outcomes and a longer life. Unsurprisingly, unhealthy and abusive relationships contribute to poor health in a variety of ways. Relationships change over time, so a relationship that starts out fun and exciting may not stay that way.

Unhealthy relationships where one person in the relationship uses a variety of methods to gain and maintain power and control over the other person are, unfortunately, common. According to surveys from the National Domestic Violence Hotline, approximately 1 in 4 women and 1 in 7 men have experienced intimate partner violence (IPV). It occurs across every demographic line of socioeconomic status, education level, sexual orientation, race, and religion. It can happen to anyone. IPV is a cycle that generally gets worse over time—not a one-time incident. People who choose abusive behavior use jealousy, isolation, emotional and psychological abuse, coercion, intimidation, shame and threats.

Many people assume that abusive relationships are defined by the presence of physical violence, but research shows that emotional and psychological abuse are used long before any physical violence occurs. Over time, the control tactics cause chronic, toxic stress for the person subjected to them. In terms of health impacts, psychological abuse is as important an indicator for health outcomes as physical abuse. This means a person can experience negative health consequences as a result of an unhealthy relationship without ever being physically hurt by their partner. Unhealthy, abusive relationships affect a person’s immediate and long-term health–reproductive, physical, mental and behavioral health are all potentially impacted in abusive and controlling relationships.

If you are choosing to use power and control and abusive tactics in your relationships and would like to choose differently, please contact Choices Domestic Violence Intervention Program at (503) 530-8927 or at https://www.choicesdvip.com for more information.

Successfully managing mental or physical health conditions while in an unhealthy relationship can be particularly challenging. Controlling, abusive behavior harms the partner who is subjected to it, and can also harm the health and wellbeing of children growing up in homes where abuse is the norm. The Adverse Childhood Experience Study, or ACEs, demonstrated the connection between growing up with violence in the home and experiencing long term chronic health conditions as well as behavioral and mental health conditions later in life. As with childhood ACEs, experiencing abuse can contribute to things like anxiety and depression as well as common chronic illnesses such as high cholesterol, heart disease, diabetes, and chronic pain symptoms even after the unhealthy relationship has ended.

If you or someone you know are concerned that your relationship is affecting your health, there is hope for healing. At Tides of Change (ToC), we believe everyone deserves a healthy and supportive relationship. ToC serves people of all genders with free, confidential advocacy services and ongoing resiliency and support groups. Our services and our 24-hour helpline are available to anyone who has questions about their relationship and about what resources are available to them. ToC provides services for all stages of healing, both for present and past experiences. Tides of Change is located at 1902 2nd St, Tillamook, OR 97141. You can connect with us by calling 503-842-9486 or at www.tidesofchangenw.org . You are not alone, ToC is here to support you.

AUTHOR: Tides of Change

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