by Guest | Mar 12, 2025 | Being Well, Featured, Uncategorized
We each deserve to spend the last months, weeks, days, and hours of our lives in an environment that makes us feel empowered, human, and whole. But doing so requires frank conversations about death, which many of us struggle to have, even with ourselves. According to a 2018 national survey by the Conversation Project, only 32% of people have discussed their wishes for end-of-life care, even though 92% believe it’s important to have those discussions.
When we do manage to have those discussions, the systems around death and dying are complex and often exhausting to navigate, meaning many people who are terminally ill or dying end up with unmet needs, even when their support system is doing everything they can.
Those situations are where a death doula—also called an end-of-life doula—can be helpful to have.
What is a death doula?
A death doula is a companion and guide through the end-of-life process. Their primary client is the dying person, though they also work with other members of the family, community, or care teams. Many death doulas take on small caseloads, allowing them to meet with clients more often and for longer sessions than care providers with intense caseloads or family caregivers with multiple responsibilities may be able to.
Death doulas provide six areas of support:
- Presence: Acting as a nurturing, calming companion.
- Emotional support: Being there for patients to talk to, being the person who doesn’t shy away from talking about death.
- Information sharing. Educating on relevant topics as needed.
- Proactive guidance. Anticipating patient needs and planning accordingly.
- Resources connection: Referring out to appropriate providers and community resources.
- Comfort measures: Using non-medical means to ease physical discomfort.
- Logistical support: Including household help, coordinating community care, etc.
Why might you work with a death doula?
Since wants and needs at the end of our life are as unique as each of us, there are many reasons why you might engage a death doula. Common ones include:
- You want the assistance of a compassionate guide when having those difficult conversations about death and end-of-life planning with yourself, or with someone else.
- You’re unsure how to start planning your end-of-life care and want help navigating the process.
- You have a limited support system and want a companion through your final months, weeks, or days.
- You want more companionship, emotional support, comfort measures, or logistical support than hospice, caregivers, or the other members of your care team have the capacity to provide.
- You want someone to help plan and/or participate in your vigil.
- You have knowledge, stories, etc. you want to pass on and need help with legacy planning/projects, which have been shown to increase patient and caregiver wellbeing.
- You want help planning your deathbed ecosystem; where you pass away, who is present, what the room looks, sounds, and smells like. You have every right to cultivate a deathbed ecosystem that brings you comfort, peace, even joy.
- You’re nowhere near death but you want to be on the safe side by planning proactively.
How to choose a death doula
Currently, death doula work is not heavily regulated. Organizations like the National End-of-Life Doula Association and the Internation End-of-Life Doula Association offer certifications in order to lend a degree of consistency and accountability for doulas. But certification isn’t legally required for someone to advertise as one.
When contacting a death doula, you can ask if they’re certified, and by who, and what training they’ve undergone; in Oregon, the Peaceful Prescence Project is commonly used and well-regarded. You can also familiarize yourself with the death doula scope of practice; that way, you can identify if a death doula is offering services outside their capacity to provide.
It can help to spend time thinking about what death doula services you want, as the exact services offered can vary between providers. Knowing what matters most to you in your end-of-life care makes it easier to find a death doula who’s a good fit.
You can find more advice on selecting a death doula at NEDA. If you decide to work with a death doula, you can use the NEDA “Find a Doula” directory or this state-by-state directory to find one near you.
Written by contributor Sam Wall, LMSW NEDA-Proficient, and trained in death doulaship through the Peaceful Presence Project. You can visit Sam’s website for more information here: https://morningstardeathdoula.com/about/
by Guest | Feb 12, 2025 | Being Well, Eat Well, Featured, Uncategorized
Valentine’s Day is often associated with grand romantic gestures, chocolates, and flowers, but at its core, it’s a celebration of love. Additionally, for those who may not have a partner, it can sometimes feel like a day of loneliness, often referred to as Single Awareness Day. Let’s start looking at Valentine’s Day differently. While we may frequently focus on showing love to others, it’s just as important to show love to ourselves. Self-care is the ultimate act of self-love, and what better time to prioritize it than during a season dedicated to the heart?
Why Self-Care Matters
Self-care isn’t just about indulging in spa days or treating yourself to your favorite dessert—though those can be wonderful! It’s about intentionally caring for your mental, emotional, physical, and, if possible, financial well-being. In our busy lives, we often put others first, whether our families, jobs, or community commitments. We usually push our own needs aside. However, there’s a reason why flight attendants instruct us to put on our own oxygen masks first before assisting others. Ensuring our own well-being first enables us to better support those around us. Taking time to nurture ourselves allows us to show up more fully for the people and responsibilities that matter most. Seeking guidance is also a form of self-care. This could be reaching out to a friend, a family member, or a counselor.
Simple Ways to Practice Self-Care
If you’re unsure where to start, here are a few simple yet meaningful ways to prioritize self-care this Valentine’s Day:
1. Nourish Your Body
Remember to eat like you love yourself! Fuel yourself with foods that make you feel good—both physically and emotionally. Cook a nutritious meal, enjoy a cup of tea, or savor that piece of chocolate guilt-free. You can find healthy recipes on
www.FoodHero.org. Meal planning, shopping smart, and preparing healthy meals can also be a from of self-care as it takes the stress away of meal time. Try meal prepping at the beginning of the week to save time and make healthier choices easier.
2. Move in a Way That Feels Good
Exercise doesn’t have to be a chore. Whether it’s a walk outside, a yoga session, or dancing in your living room, find movement that brings you joy. This could even be something small, like taking the stairs instead of the elevator or parking farther away from the door when going somewhere. Did you know that getting at least 150 minutes of physical activity each week can significantly lower your risk of developing chronic diseases? Small daily changes can add up to make the biggest impact. It’s also a natural antidepressant that can help brighten these cold, dark winter days.
3. Prioritize Rest
Give yourself permission to slow down. Take a nap, go to bed earlier, or spend some time reading a book without distractions. It’s okay to skip an event if you need time for yourself. Establish a nighttime routine to help you wind down. This could mean putting electronics away at a certain time or taking a few minutes before bed to stretch. Listen to your body and rest when you need it.
4. Engage in Activities That Bring Joy
What makes you feel truly heart happy? Maybe it’s painting, gardening, playing music, playing with your fur babies, or simply taking a mid-day nap. Carve out time for the things that make you happy. Start small by dedicating 10 minutes a day to something you love. Treat it like an important meeting with your boss—one you wouldn’t cancel.
5. Set Boundaries
Saying ‘no’ can be an act of self-care. Protect your time and energy by setting boundaries that allow you to prioritize what truly matters. Boundaries help create balance in your life and prevent burnout. They allow you to manage your emotional well-being by limiting interactions that drain you and focusing on those that uplift you. Setting boundaries might look like turning off your phone during personal time, declining commitments that overwhelm you, or clearly communicating your needs to others. Remember, setting boundaries is not about shutting people out; it’s about making space for what brings you peace and fulfillment.
6. Practice Self-Compassion
Be kind to yourself. Speak to yourself as you would a dear friend, and let go of perfectionism. You are worthy of love and care exactly as you are. Self-compassion also means acknowledging your progress, no matter how small, and celebrating the effort you put into improving yourself. Give yourself grace on difficult days and remember that setbacks are a part of growth. Practicing self-compassion can also involve journaling positive affirmations, engaging in self-care activities that make you feel valued, and surrounding yourself with people who uplift and encourage you.
A Valentine’s Day Promise to Yourself
This Valentine’s Day, promise to love yourself a little more and be kinder to yourself. Whether that means treating yourself with kindness, taking a break, or simply acknowledging your own worth, Understand that taking time for yourself might feel unusual, and change can be scary and uncomfortable, but prioritizing self-care is essential and takes time. Self-care is not all or nothing; it’s about taking it one day at a time. Recognize that you are just as deserving of the love and support you give to others. Self-care isn’t selfish—it’s necessary. You are important and you matter to so many people.
So, while you’re celebrating love in all its forms, don’t forget to celebrate yourself too. You deserve it.
Written by: Galena Flores, SNAP- Education Program Assistant, and Tillamook County Wellness Contributor
by Guest | Oct 11, 2024 | Being Well, Featured, Uncategorized, Work Well
Let’s face it: Whether you’re a single parent, have a supportive co-parent, or are part of a large, supportive family system, parenting well is hard. Kids, no matter how much we love them, don’t come with instruction manuals and often push us to our limits.
We want to bring our best selves to this parenting endeavor; we know how we treat and invest in our children will have lifelong repercussions . . . but sometimes we need a little support.
Engaging your child resourcefully, creatively, and educationally, boosting and encouraging playful curiosity, and celebrating developmental milestones—that’s what our family educators do every day. We believe that parents are their kids’ first and best teachers and we want to equip parents to engage their kiddos with creative, fun learning activities all year long.
Did you know that year-round support from Healthy Families and Early Head Start is available to families in every part of Tillamook County? Here’s what you need to know about our three Child & Family Programs, all housed under Community Action Team:
Healthy Families:
– Register your child within 90 days of birth
– Known for their diaper program
– Regular home visits, frequency of visits based on need
– Healthy Families – Community Action Team (cat-team.org)
Early Head Start:
– Registration accepted year-round, ages 0-3
– Weekly home visits
– Biweekly socializations/play dates
– Educational and literacy focus
– Seamless transition to Head Start (preschool, ages 3-5)
– www.nworheadstart.org
Head Start:
– preschool (drop off/pick up)
– only available to families living in Tillamook proper at this time
– 2 locations: 1100 Miller Ave, Tillamook, OR and 3808 12th Street, Tillamook, OR
– www.nworheadstart.org
We are a resource for you and want to make your parenting journey a little less
overwhelming, so you can offer your kiddo your very best self!
To reach out and ask questions, please contact:
Christina Pfister
Family Advocate for Early Head Start
971-813-9450
cpfister@nworheadstart.org
Written by Christina Pfister, Family Advocate for Early Head Start
Other wellness questions? Email us at info@tillamookcountywellness.org. For more local health and wellness information, visit www.tillamookcountywellness.org or follow Tillamook County Wellness on Facebook and Instagram.
by Michelle | Jan 25, 2024 | Being Well, Featured, Move Well, Uncategorized, Work Well
Intro to Behavior Change, Part 1
Every day we hear the results of another study, telling us what is making us unhealthy. Eat this, don’t eat that. Move like this, not like that. There are, of course, good reasons to become educated about making healthier choices. We are on an unsustainable track both for our own health and for the economic health of our nation. In all reality, our health care crisis – the skyrocketing cost to treat preventable, chronic disease – is a greater threat to our survival than global climate change. As with all things, though, we have made the solution far too complicated for the average person to comprehend.
Let’s get down to the fundamentals. First, we simply have to become more aware of our own habits. How do I feel when I eat this and don’t eat that? How do I feel when I walk up a flight of stairs? How much energy do I have? If the answers to these questions are not the ones you’d like, then it is probably time to start making some changes.
Change is hard. Crazy hard. It’s really inconvenient. That’s how we got into this mess in the first place. It is human nature to take the path of least resistance. It takes time and effort to change the way we live our lives. For most of us, this is where we end up – in a state of knowing we need to do something but not believing that we can really do anything about it. To be successful, we need to make the changes to our habits small, easy-to-adopt, and enjoyable.
Behavior Change 101, Part 2
Awareness. This is where it all starts. We have to stop and look within ourselves to even begin to understand what is and isn’t working. This goes for health and nutrition but also for relationships, self-esteem, work performance, you name it. What is the famous saying? The first step is admitting you have a problem.
You don’t have to become a Yogi (yoga instructor, not the bear) to become aware. You don’t have to take special classes (although that might help). You don’t have to change the kind of person you are (although you probably will in the end). You just need to be open to the idea of changing.
We see things more clearly when we take a step back and give them our undivided attention. Take a few moments each day to breathe. Just be. Relax. In doing so, the busyness of the world, the noise of our self-talk, the daily to do list, they all disappear and we are simply left with ourselves and the truth. Layers of thought, emotion, and even traumatic events are often responsible for the “dis-ease” that causes disease. Without going through this process, it may not matter what changes we make to our nutrition or exercise habits. Our bodies seek balance. This applies to our emotional state as well. When we are out of balance, there are a whole host of physiological processes that go off-line as well.
Unfortunately, the typical American lifestyle does not lend itself to mind-body balance. It can seem overwhelming to understand what is out of balance and what we need to do about it. This is where awareness is key. At some point, most of us have tried to determine how many calories, grams of protein, fats or carbohydrates or how many minutes of high or low intensity exercise we should be getting each day. And, statistics show that this hasn’t worked out so well for most of us . . . at all.
So, how do we identify and make the changes we need to make? Pay attention to your own body and mind. What you think and feel, what you read, and what you hear others say all provide clues if you are tuned in. Listen to that voice in your head, that gut instinct that kicks in and says, “Hey, that’s what I need to do. I can do that.” I call it the When-Harry-Met-Sally-Moment – “I’ll have what she’s having.” Pay attention to what inspires you and follow that thread.
Tips for Successful Behavior Change, Part 3
Why we want to make changes is almost as important as what we want to change. The “why” often determines our chances for success. If we are making a change for our spouse or boss, or as a quick fix (think high school reunion), we might not be as emotionally invested as we need to be successful over the long term. You need to have good reasons to make any lasting change. Maybe it is to be around to see your kids or grandkids grow up or maybe it is about improving your quality of life. Whatever it is, it needs to be meaningful to you.
Setting SMART goals is key to successful behavior change. SMART is an acronym for research-based characteristics that significantly increase the likelihood of reaching one’s goals. They should be:
- Specific
- Measurable
- Attainable
- Relevant
- Time-Bound
For example, if I want to walk 2 miles a day but am currently completely sedentary, I need to break down my goal into manageable pieces. I also need to be realistic. How far can I, and more importantly, will I, walk each day. Maybe it is just a daily walk to my mailbox for the first week. Then, I can walk to the end of the block, then 3 blocks, and so on until I have achieved my goal. It is important to set a time frame for each level of goal attainment. This can be daily or weekly. It needs to be short enough to generate immediate success but also long enough to form a new habit as a foundation for the next step and that usually takes about 8-10 weeks.
Work with your strengths and interests when approaching changes. If you like to cook, then it makes sense to find healthy recipes you would enjoy making. If you hate cooking, it will be important to simplify what nutrition changes you are making so that you can still be successful. It can be as simple as choosing the prepared veggie tray and a container of hummus from the grocery store. This principle is especially important when it comes to physical activity. If you enjoy being outdoors, consider walking or hiking. If you like people, music or dancing, you could join a group fitness class. If you want something more mindful, try Tai Chi, Qigong or Yoga. The key is to look for ways to integrate a positive, healthy change with your personality, interests and strengths.
One of the reasons people struggle with behavior change is because they have been unsuccessful in the past. Three common reasons for this are 1) Setting unrealistic goals 2) Giving up after the first setback, or 3) Taking on too many changes at once.
To avoid these, it is important to set a narrow list of ridiculously small goals. This allows us to celebrate mini victories which perpetuate future successes. BJ Fogg, a researcher at Stanford University, calls these “Tiny Habits.” He uses an example for someone who wants to develop the habit of flossing their teeth. He suggests flossing one tooth each night after brushing your teeth. Just one tooth. This is based on the fact that a 3 second action of flossing one tooth is perceived as much more doable than the 30 second action of flossing all of our teeth and, therefore, we are more likely to stick with and succeed at the development of this new habit. As sad as this example is, he is 100% right (and he has the research to back that up.) This says a lot about human nature and explains a lot when it comes to why behavior change is so difficult.
To summarize, there are some tricks to successful behavior change:
- Become aware of what you want to change and why
- Set SMART goals
- Make changes that fit your personality, strengths and values
- Start small (REALLY small) and build on your successes
Written by Michelle Jenck, M.Ed., Certified Behavior Change Coach
For more local health and wellness information, visit www.tillamookcountywellness.org or follow Tillamook County Wellness on Facebook and Instagram.
by Michelle | Jan 16, 2024 | Eat Well, Featured, Move Well, Work Well
Tillamook County Wellness was launched in 2016 as a “Year of Wellness” with a simple goal – to encourage people to make small changes to become healthier. After a successful kick-off year, the Wellness Advisory Committee decided to ride the wave of community support for this grassroots population health improvement initiative and set a ten-year goal to reduce the percentage of people in Tillamook County who were at risk for developing Type 2 Diabetes. This ambitious goal had one significant challenge. How would we track our efforts to determine if we were having an impact? We can’t measure what doesn’t happen. Or can we?
In 2016, the percentage of adults in Tillamook County living with a diagnosis of diabetes was 12%. In 2023, the same source for this data (County Health Rankings), reported Tillamook County rates at 8%. Another bright spot for comparison is that we began our journey with a health ranking in the bottom third of Oregon counties. Today we boast a #12 county health ranking status out of 35 ranked counties in the state. Anecdotally, we are making progress. More concretely, we have built more trusting relationships, established policies, programs and strengthened partnerships in ways that are making Tillamook County a healthier place to live, work, play, learn and age.
So, who is Tillamook County Wellness and what exactly are we doing to improve health and quality of life in Tillamook County? It’s all of us and it’s everything. This is what collective action looks like. It takes everyone thinking, working and living together intentionally in ways that promote health and well-being.
In 2023, 34 community and government organizations, businesses, schools, healthcare partners and many, many volunteers all worked together to move the dial on health. Grants were written and awarded for building a sustainable healthcare partner network, implementing a health literacy campaign and partnering to hold a bike rodeo where more than 30 bikes were given away to area families. Walking groups, led by volunteers, met weekly throughout the county. Hundreds of vegetable seeds were distributed so our local gardens can “Grow Well.” Free wellness classes were held in English & Spanish for everything from how to prevent and manage chronic diseases like type 2 diabetes to how to manage personal finances.
Upstream efforts to build more housing, increase the availability and affordability of childcare and expand education pathways for higher income-earning potential are just some examples of how partners are working to create the conditions for a healthier community. Changes to the built environment such as community walking paths, segments of the Salmonberry Trail and a bike pump track are other examples of work being done to make it easier for people to get and stay healthy. Area schools work with Food Roots to teach kids where their food comes from and how to cultivate and cook it. Nutritious recipes with easy-to-find, inexpensive ingredients are being shared and devoured based on the social media stats behind those shares.
The point here is that wellness is more than a number on the scale or a medical record. Wellness starts with people’s ability to have a safe place to live, healthy food to eat, an education that leads to a living wage job, a community that has adequate supports for mental health, addiction, and for families with loved ones experiencing disabilities or different abilities.
Often, when we think about the challenges that negatively impact community health, we wonder, “why isn’t someone doing something about this?” Working in community well-being for a decade, it is clear to me that much is being done and a lot of positive changes are resulting from those efforts. The organizations responsible for much of this work are often constrained by lack of funding, staff or volunteers. You can make a difference by making donations to your favorite charities, getting involved as a volunteer, and advocating for the good work within your family and peer circles. After all, giving back is good for your health.
Written By Michelle Jenck, M.Ed.,
To learn more, get involved and donate, visit www.tillamookcountywellness.org or email us at info@tillamookcountywellness.org.
